Everyone bitches about their job. So what the heck, welcome to my hospital job...

...and yes, people really do crazy stuff like this. I have a few of my own stories, but this one is great...

Microwaved adult toy puts pair in a hot spot
March 6, 2006
BY JOE MANDAK

PITTSBURGH -- A man and woman were cited in connection with a bizarre incident that resulted in a fake penis being microwaved at a convenience store last month.

Leslye Creighton, 41, of Wilkinsburg, and Vincent Bostic, 31, of Pittsburgh, were both cited for criminal mischief and disorderly conduct in the Feb. 23 incident at the store in McKeesport, east of Pittsburgh.
Each charge carries a possible sentence of up to 90 days in jail and up to a $300 fine.

Bostic had filled a fake penis with his urine that Creighton, a friend, planned to use to pass a drug test she was taking to get a job, Police Chief Joseph Pero said.

Creighton asked a store clerk to microwave the device so the urine inside would be body-temperature and fool those giving the drug test, Pero said.

Police still aren't sure why Creighton chose to use a device that mimics the male sex organ to pass her drug test.

Defense attorney William Difenderfer didn't dispute the police account, but said there's no proof his clients had any criminal intent to damage the microwave -- the basis for the criminal mischief charge.

"I'm certainly not saying it wasn't a stupid thing to do," Difenderfer said. "But there's a lot of bizarre stuff that we don't always have a remedy for in the crimes code."

Difenderfer said his clients want to settle the case, in part, by reimbursing the store for a new microwave oven.

Pero said the store got rid of the old oven because it couldn't be used for food once bodily fluids were cooked inside it.

Having trouble understanding? Use your imagination.